Coming to your own reality, after the fog clears


    People are asking me: What should I do now? What are the consequences? Many people — maybe even you — are wandering around wondering what will happen next. What are the risks? What are the rewards?

    Many of you have no idea what to do because times are uncertain (that’s an understatement). Times are actually tougher and more challenging than they have ever been in our history.

    Think back to other life-changing decisions that you have made or that were made for you: the decision to leave home; the decision of what higher education you wanted to achieve and where you wanted to go to achieve it; the decision to get married; the decision to have a child; the decision to buy a home (kind of like the one you left); the decision of what career to choose; the decision to accept a job offer; or maybe even the decision to start your own business.

    All of these decisions had an emotional basis, a logical justification, and some reward or consequence.

    In the middle of all these decisions is life — your life. And every time you take an action, you’re helping yourself see more light.

    You’re asking yourself:

    Am I doing the right thing?

    Am I doing the best thing for others?

    Am I doing the best thing for myself?

    Do I love what I am doing?

    Would I rather be doing something else?

    Should I be doing something else?

    What else could I be doing?

    Here is a personal reality of mine worth sharing. In 1981, I was sitting around a table talking with people from a business I was consulting for in Richmond, Va. I had just divorced, and was separated from my wife of 10 years and my young children. As I sat at the table, I suddenly realized I needed to be someplace else. I needed to be with my family or they needed to be here. It took me more than a year to come to that reality.

    During that entire year, I struggled without really understanding why. But sitting around that table and thinking to myself, “Should I be talking to these people or should I be playing with my kids?” was a wakeup call I could not deny. It was a clear and defining moment.

    Within one week, we had reunited.

    Your story: I guarantee you the story I just told you has reminded you of a similar situation. That’s the reason I chose to tell it.

    Think about your moments of decision, your moments of clarity, and you will see that what happened in response to that decision, what happened in response to that clarity has led you to greater heights, greater happiness, greater success — and maybe (but not so importantly) greater wealth.

    Obviously, not all decisions create this much impact.

    But at this moment in time, you and I are faced with economic uncertainty. I’m challenging you to recognize that now is the time to take a close look at who you are, where you are, and what you could be doing or should be doing that would give you more of what you are hoping for.

    The reason I’m giving this information to you at this moment in time is that all rules of the game as we have known them have either changed or are off.

    When that circumstance is upon each of us, it creates the best opportunity for each one of us to change and win.

    The secret: Make a change or decide to change based on what you feel is best for you in your heart — and all the rest will fall into place in both your body and your mind.

    Another secret: This decision must be made when it becomes apparent that it’s time to make it (don’t delay or procrastinate), and the cause for making the decision must be based on your happiness and your peace of mind, not made for someone else.

    When you decide on what’s best for yourself first, all the people in your life will be better off as a result of it (even if they are initially against it). Be happy in your world, so that you can be happy in their world, and in the world at large.

    Free Git-Bit: If you would like one more thought about decision-making and clarity, go to and enter the word CLEAR in the GitBit box. Jeffrey Gitomer can be reached at (704) 333-1112 or e-mail

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